Tuesday, October 25, 2011

So Can I

I have so much to record. I wanted to do it yesterday but really, you should have seen the size of my laundry pile. I was doing laundry from the wee hours of the morning until after 10pm last night. The laundry combined with the thrust back into school made for some seriously sour attitudes, (mostly mine) and one epic fight between my boys. That one breaks my small heart. Those two get along great but when they don't, watch out.

Monday was so full of contention (and laundry) around here that after I stayed up too late folding and hanging, I stayed up reading my new, "Daughters in my Kingdom" book, searching for answers. It is an amazing book packed full of inspiration and guidance from women who have gone before.

They did hard things, those girls.

But despite the yukkyness of yesterday we had a wonderful, awesome weekend. We spent Friday up at one of my favorite Arizona spots on the lake. It was a piece of Heaven, I tell you. The weather was amazing and Scott was able to work a half day and come with us.

The kids spent most of the day cruising around on their own, in the paddle boat. They must have felt like Christopher Columbus looking out into the big lake, that from small eyes is as big as the ocean. The only "parental stipulation" we gave them was to wear life jackets and stay inside the buoy. There was adventure to be had and they did. They laid on their bellies in the mud, they splashed in the water, they built sand castles and they shot bow and arrows like Robin Hood himself.

We saw a bald eagle that I was super excited about and Kaden stepped on a jumping cactus while out on an excursion to one of the banks. He came back and told me he had used a scout knot to hold the boat in place while he tried to pick the barbs out of his foot. I liked that, cause really, how many times does a kid get to actually use a scout knot and feel like a real life, Bear Grills.

Our friends left a bit early but we stayed late into the night. We put everyone on the paddle boat while the sun went down and I had quite possibly one of my happiest moments ever, there on the lake with my family.

But this moment was pretty good too.

Scott and I cleaned up and packed up in the pitch black dark and came within 5 feet of getting sprayed by a skunk. That would have stunk, to put it mildly.

The next day we sat together and watched our kids sing in the Primary Program. Be still my heart, I love the primary program.

Later that night thanks to a double booking that the bishop had, Scott and I were able to attend a fireside that one of my heroes spoke at. Sister Julie B. Beck.

I felt like Mary, siting at the knees of the Savior trying to soak up every bit of knowledge and inspiration available. She is amazing, a true disciple of the Lord and I was so very thankful to have been there.

Little did I know how trying the next day would be. It was a hard one, full of contention, like I said. One of my kids had a complete meltdown and there were a few other things that all added up to a very trying day for me. When Scott finally got home at 8pm, I was still in the kitchen, still directing homework and still cleaning up, with a baby on my hip. I looked at Scott completely spent and exasperated and said,

"I feel like I am rowing a boat, while someone stands at the bow pushing me backward, like I am hiking up the mountain against a strong wind"

Over dramatic, maybe, but I was feeling weighed down, lost, forgotten and most of all like a failure to my family. I had not handled the days stresses well, to say the least.

This morning I picked up my, "Daughters in my Kingdom" book again and read this from President Heber J. Grant:

"I believe when we determine within our hearts that by and with the blessings of God we will accomplish a certain labor; God gives us the ability to accomplish that labor- but when we lay down, when we become discouraged, when we look at the top of the mountain and say it is impossible to climb to the summit, while we never make an effort-it will never be accomplished."

I missed the mark yesterday. I became discouraged and thought that for sure, the summit could not be reached. But today is a new day and I think I will take those sweet lakeside memories, those inspired words from an inspired woman and borrow some faith from those amazing women from my book and do better.

They did hard things, those girls.

So can I.


Brianna said...

I am borrowing that quote! Thanks for sharing. Somehow even though our situations are different you always make me feel normal and that I'm not the only human having this experience.

Katie said...

I love your insight. Thank you for sharing.

stacy said...

perfect!!!!! of course!! :)

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