Friday, November 18, 2011

Ella Courage

Yesterday morning there was a bit of contention floating around us. The kids were slow to get ready for school and everyone needed something, at the same time, from the same me. By the time they all unloaded from the car, I felt a sort of icky feeling and I will admit, I felt those familiar stinging tears start to form as well. I wiped them away and thought,  "I need to be tougher. "  Not tougher on the kids, but tougher about life. I need to be brave in the face of the overwhelming feeling that tends to seep in when you really, REALLY stop and think about the job of raising 5 amazing, little humans, that think you know everything.

Later I had the sad task of taking my two little girls to the doctor for shots. From the very first time that my new mother arms held Kaden for those painful pokes, I have hated shot day.

I enlisted my Mother because the thought of having two crying babies, both needing to be loved and not having enough arms to go around, was a little too much for me. (plus it took me right back to my twin baby days when doctor appointments were just this side of torture). After all the weighing and blood pressuring and say aww-ing was done, I positioned myself smack in front of Ella, ready to hold her tight for the FIVE (that's right-FIVE!) Pokes she was about to receive.

Poke 1: no reaction
Poke 2: no reaction
Poke 3: Ella you are so brave! no reaction
Poke 4: no reaction
Poke5: Ella one more you are so tough! no reaction.

My Girl.

My brave, brave girl, took all those pokes with out so much as the tiniest whimper.  In fact, the only change in expression came when she saw the sparkly silver band aide the nurse used.  Poor Cali wasn't quite as brave and who could blame her, no warning at all then WHAM-O.

After the doctor, I grocery shopped, while my Mom browsed the store with Ella. She let her pick out several pieces of merchandise as a reward for her stellar bravery. (I would have gotten her a 98 cent pack of gum and called it good but Ella was lucky to have Lanny there and really made out like a bandit.)

So now I have made a goal to be more like Ella. I am so good at soaking in the warm, happy, fun times like it's the last drink I'll ever take. I love watching the kids ride their bikes and play at the park and dig in the sand and swim in the lake, and I love reading to them, cooking with them, laughing with them and crawling in bed next to them, for good talks and long sessions of back rubs. It fills me up like a feast fit for a queen. But...dealing with contention, fighting and selfishness makes me want to run and hide in the corner, I turn into a coward.

But if Ella can do it, I can do it. Brave little trooper had some amazing courage and I can too.

What the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand.
Larry R. Lawrence

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