Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Going Barefoot

For all the angst I felt over the last month these past few days have been pure good. It's like I traded in anxiety and frustration for peace and steady progress. It's funny how life can feel so awful and then when you fill it with what you know id right and good....things get better.
What is right and good for me is dirty, bare feet. Like Tom and Huck.

I love a good set of played on, dirt covered feet. It's a perfect symbol of carefree childhood. On Sunday my good friend, whose "baby" is nearly a full grown adult now came by and asked to borrow some children. She was making and frosting a big batch of sugar cookies and who can do that, with out a kitchen full of kids?

The twins hopped up and volunteered their cookie making services and ran out the door with no shoes. My friend looked at me and said,

"Do they need shoes?"

I just said,

"Na."

And off they went. Then yesterday, I walked into pack night at our church, just three doors down and saw Branson sitting with his Bear den. I could see all the way from my spot in the back row that he was shoeless. I leaned over and said to my friend,

"Uh-oh, Branson isn't wearing shoes."

She responded,

"It's OK, your kids never wear shoes."

Well it's OK with me. OK with the rest of society is questionable. It's just that I am quite certain that there will be plenty of days up ahead for shoe wearing and seriousness and stress and anxiety for my kids. But for now, I am just so glad- when they have a few precious hours of each day to be barefoot.

I mean really, wouldn't you love to have nothing more to do, than play outside with bare feet? They only get to be little once, ya know.


If I had my life to live over I'd like to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual trouble, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start going barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies. ~Nadine Stair

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Safe Sleeping

I didn't sleep well last night and after Scott woke me up for our 4:45am prayers before he rushed off to work..I couldn't sleep at all. But the house is a rare quiet this morning- only the sounds of Branson's heavy breaths on the near-by couch and Cali's big fan whirling like a wind tunnel in the bedroom...so I'll take it.
Kaden is still struggling his way through this school year, and now, my big boy has given up his bed once again. The whole reason I thought it was an OK deal to let him go with out one when we moved Cali out of our bedroom was because he NEVER slept in his bed anyway. But over time I started to feel like he needed some space---ANY space in our little house that we have out grown, to call his own. So we got him a bed, remember.

But sure as sunshine, he has gradually left the high loft bed that we stuffed into the corner of the office, for the hard floor just to the side of our bed. Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I saw his familiar figure, lumbering into my room draped in a big quilt. He tossed his pillow down and crawled into position and then I felt the friendly tapping of his hand next to mine.

For as long as I can remember Kaden has found safety and security in holding my hand at bed time. He slept smack in the middle spot until he was four and every night we laced our finders together and fell asleep knowing that the other one was right where we needed them. And believe me, I needed him as much as he needed me.

But now he is nearly as big as I am. But now, I have so little time to be alone. But now, I am desperate to give some minutes of the day to Scott, where we don't have to be concerned that little ears are listening to our conversation.

I found his hand in the dark and asked him for the millionth time, why he would rather sleep on the ground than in his bed. He gave me the same answer that he always does,

"My bed is just not as comfortable as yours."

"But Kaden you are on the floor. Is the floor more comfortable than your bed."

"No, can I sleep in your bed?"

"You know the answer. I really wish you would sleep in your bed."

And finally a little truth came out of my growing boy, in a tired and sleepy voice,

"I don't know what it is, when I am in you room, I just feel......"

"You just feel what?"

And then all I could hear was sleep. His hand slipped floppily out of mine and our conversation was over.

One of my heroes came to mind, Sister Hinckley. I often ask my self, "What would Sister Hinckley do?" When I was stuck on the couch nursing the twins I read and re-read her book. One of my favorite quotes from that book came to my mind.

"It has never been so important that children have a home that is a place of refuge, a place of peace, a place of unconditional love...even when the report cards may not have been what you had hoped for."

I think I know what Kaden feels on the floor by my side of the bed. He feels safe. And I know that feeling unsafe, is possibly the worst feeling in all the world.

So welcome back to the floor my Kaden Boy, it's yours as long as you need it. Plus, since I am quite certain that the day will come, when your hand will slip softly out of mine and right into someone else's, I'll savor those little bed side taps and the feeling of your tired hand finding it's way into mine. Love, Mom.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Stepping

I have been out of a camera for a few weeks now. It has been driving me crazy. So when Scott said that we could go this weekend and get one, I could hardly stand the wait! I even braved Costco on a Saturday...have mercy- that place is something else. But as it turns out Costco on a Saturday with 1 kid and two adults is entirely different than Costco on any day with 5 kids and one adult. The old ladies did not disapoint with their pluthera of samples, the Vidamix girl managed to entice me once again and who can pass up lunch for two, for less than 10 bucks? You get what you pay for, mind you and that Costco cusine is not something you should take a risk on- too terribly often.

But the camera...oh the camera, was what made our Saturday Costco stop a happy, happy shopping experience. You see My Little, My Tiny, My Slight Baby Girl is stepping....

Can you see the balance in her arms? Can you see the delight on her face? Can you see the grip in her toes? Can you see the, "I'm on my way," look in her eyes? Well I can, and I needed to save it. As soon as the battery was charged, I propered her up near the couch and coaxed her toward me.



Something about those brand-new, wobbly steps just makes me smile. She's letting go. Watching her venture around the house on her two tiny legs has reminded me how very little time I get to have with them. 

Thank-goodness for cameras.

Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.
Psalm 18:36

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Tender Mercy-Dead Ky-yote Edition

Scott and I both wish we could carve out more family time to take the kids for adventure. It's one of our favorite things to do but lately the chance for it has eluded us. When that happens, it's nice to have a bunch of rugged uncles that can step in and do the job for us.

Last weekend our boys were invited by my Dad and my brothers out for adventure. Guns, ammo, camouflage and coyotes. I cant say I know everything that went on last Saturday but I do know it was pure adventure for 2 little boys.

 I learned that it is perfectly legal to hunt coyotes because apparently they are overpopulated in our deserts. My boys were fascinated by the hunt and then completely enthralled by watching my brother skin up the coyote. I on the other hand nearly lost my lunch just hearing about it. I can change some ghastly diapers, huge fearsome piles of vomit and streams of oozing snot- with out flinching but the blood and guts of a ragged desert animal. Yuck!

Thanks Dad and brothers for filling in  for us in the adventure department. I am glad that someone is teaching my boys the joy of wearing the same disgusting clothes for two days and the delight of skinning a dead Ky-yote.


Cause I sure aint gonna do it.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tender Mercy-Scott Edition

I feel kind of bad that my blogging has taken such a hit lately. Really I am just in one of those weird times where there are so many needs to be met, that I am all empty by the time I sit to think. Plus, my camera has been broken for a few weeks now. sniff, sniff.

Scott and I have had huge constraints on our time and big decisions to make and tons of homework to help the kids with. We have also had minor health issues running rampant through our family, plus the normal demands of a busy family of 7.  Scott takes on the weight of our entire world on his shoulders and he does it with such steadiness that I find myself really, really loving the man.

When I was a Laurel (17 or 18) my young women's president once told me,

"Julianne, make sure you marry someone that will help you up the hill, not someone that you'll be dragging along."

Scott not only helps me up the hill- he carries the packs, leads the march and acts as our Navigator. And then he lovingly listens to me voice my uncertainties, complaints and frustrations. I'm so grateful. I hope he knows that, I think he does.

And up we go, right? It's a long hike but there sure are some beautiful views along the way and sharing them with Scott is as good as it gets.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Guilty as Charged Kid

Kaden came home from mutual Tuesday with a huge, silly grin. It was Valentines day and all the youth in our ward had a combined activity together where they learned a few dances and were given dancing tips. The post mutual review went like this:

Kaden: Mom mutual was so fun! We danced the whole time and learned new things like," The Cuddle."
(Kaden then showed me "the cuddle", there in the hall way.

Kaden: Plus Mom, we formed a circle and people went in the middle to do moves and I WENT IN!
Me; Wow, I am so glad that you did that!
Kaden: Me too, it was so fun.

At this point, the conversation went on and on about what a good time Kaden had. He showed me more things and I watched and listened and danced right back with my boy like it was my new found favorite hobby. Kaden was in such a good mood and it felt so nice to see him so happy.

Then it went like this:
 Kaden: Oh my gosh Mom...and we had to learn a romantic dance! I almost sat out on that part. But I didn't.
Me: So you had to dance with a girl?
Kaden: Girlsssss, Mom- not A girl.
Me: Who were they?

It was then that my cheerful happy man changed in a nano second. His face fell and he glared at me like I was a sworn enemy terrorist and said in a solemn serious voice,

"Three-Baby-Sitters."

Then he turned, all disgustedly and walked away.

Awe the joys of a good pubescent mood swing.
(If you are confused as to why this was hilarious- what he meant was that the three girls he danced with have at some point in their lives baby sat at my house. I was to blame because I would have been the one to ask them to babysit. Dancing with a babysitter, Heaven forbid right? Parental torture at it's best)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

But With Joy Wend Your Way

I haven't written in a whole week. My mind has been scattered across the table and onto so many different plates that I haven't felt like writing a coherent sentence. Which is unusual for me. When I turned off the computer last Wednesday after posting, I decided to leave it that way for a while. Maybe I needed to be taking in, instead of giving out for a change.

I have been reading my scriptures more and praying lots because, well...don't you, when you feel lost? When all is not well? When big decisions and little decisions and beds and meals need to be made?

But since last week,  we saw Scott's brother off on his mission.
























Kept celebrating Cali's first year.

























We went to a Mormon Tabernacle Choir Concert.


























We celebrated Valentines Day.

We had a long prayed for miracle for this sweet boy....

And yet, I have felt like a blind wanderer, with my hands out in front of me feeling my way around. Life is a whole lot of toil and a whole lot of labor and at the end of each day, I have felt like crying for mercy.

Last Saturday Scott and I worked all day to finish the "to do" list and be ready in time for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert. It is a lot of work to prepare a house hold of 5 children to be parentless for several hours. I had called one of the older girls in our ward and asked her to come over just long enough to get Cali changed, fed and put down for the night. Kaden could take it from there. But in the last 2 hours before we needed to leave, things started to fall apart.

Kaden had a merit badge clinic, dinner still needed to be made, a bedroom door got locked and we couldn't get it opened with out removing the entire door knob. Our kids were still running back and forth with the neighbor kids and we had a last minute baby-sitter switch. When Kaden came home and realized that there was a girl, close to his age that would be there to help with Cali, he just about lost it. He was mad to say the least and it was beyond difficult for Scott and I to get out the door.

I dripped tears into my skirt the whole way there. It wasn't just this last incident that upset Kaden that had gotten to me, it was the million things before that one. It was the annoying little health problems that I have had, non-stop since January. It was homework that was piling up. It was house repairs that never seem to get done. It was a baby that is barley staying on the charts, in the 1% range of weight,  and a few other private sorrows. So many things that life lays before you and says, "deal with it, I dare you." And on that quick drive to Phoenix, I was ready to surrender. All the work just didn't feel worth it.

We were well into the second half of the concert when the sweet familiar strains of "Come, Come Ye Saints", started to fill the arena. I was nestled deep into the shelter of Scott's left shoulder and as soon as those beautiful words started to spill into my heart, I felt the world and her cares start to lift.

I closed my eyes and saw my little girl-self, laying on the shag carpet of my childhood home. My Dad could play only one piano piece, it was, "Come Come Ye Saints" and in my mind, I remembered laying there listening to him play and while I sobbed. My Dad had just told me what this precious song meant, what it was all about and I knew in my young heart that it was true.

I have heard and sung this hymn so many times since that day but on Saturday night, in a huge hall, with thousands of other people, I just listened and let that little girl testimony from so long ago come rushing back.

When will I ever learn that on those days when the journey feels too long, too hot and too hard- that the reason we travel it, makes it always worth it.

"Though hard to you, this journey may appear, Grace shall be as your day."

My feet will be blistered and sore and my spirit may get sick from time to time, from all the exposure to the world, there is so much work ahead to do, so many steps to take and there may be an occasional wrong turn  but we go onward. This was just another of the many, many times that I have felt that certain reassurance when I could have sworn, I was on the edge of the cliff.

"Gird up your loins fresh courage take, our God will never us forsake"

Fresh courage comes when you need it. It comes in early morning scripture study when you think you should be sleeping. It comes in late night, desperate prayer. It comes in rocking your baby and hugging your pre-teen and it comes in going back and having Family Night each week- even when it was a disaster the last time. It comes when you peel yourself off your bed in the morning to do more laundry, prepare more meals and all the while teaching these little souls to be kind and choose the right, to have good manners and to stay away from danger.

Fresh courage is heavens help born of your faith,  because there will always be days when we mourn and think our lot is hard. And it sometimes is. But we put one foot in front of the next and we keep going. The cause of raising a family, in this crazy, fallen world is a good one. It isn't crossing the plains, it isn't enduring starvation or frost bite but it is a journey just the same and it comes with daily challenges, constant lurking danger and exposure to a whole host of threats. And Mothers that stay home and face it head on, are a dieing breed.

However, "no toil or labor fear" right? And most importantly...."but with JOY wend your way", I always let myself forget that part. I am going to have it put up on my wall as soon as possible. If they did it, so can I.

How grateful I am for that little testimony that started to bud inside of me 2 and half decades ago on the shag carpet of the living room. Because last week that little piece of testimony combined with years of earned knowledge and was ignited by the beautiful strains of a world famous choir, singing a 160 year old pioneer anthem, to give me new hope and fresh courage, just when I needed it.

Happy day, all is well.

Come, Come Ye Saints. Page 30 of the LDS Hymn Book, words by William Clayton.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Cali's Day and Stuff

Cali's birthday was so nice. Just our family and aside from the fact that Kaden was disturbed that we didn't invite anyone, we all had a good time celebrating our baby. First she opened her famous Grandma Magnusson card...

My Sister Jenny: That is the biggest most ridiculous bow, I have ever seen. Me: Isnt it though?





























Then endured me trying to get a good picture...














































































Then we let her open her 2 little gifts...


























Then we sang her happy birthday and let her dig in to her tiny little cup cake. Kaden's first birthday, dig-in cake was huge. The twins cakes were a little smaller, Ella's was a single round and Cali's a miniature cup cake. I've lived, I've learned, I like the smaller cake.





































Before.

























After...




























































Then in honor of Cali's birthday that corresponds with Valentines Day we heart attacked our selves. We each wrote out love notes to everyone else in the family on little hearts and then had a good time reading them. I wrote mine before hand so I just sat back on the couch snapping pictures.

































































When I pointed the camera at Ella for a second time, she looked me straight in the eye and then her little Highness screamed,

"STOP taking pictures of me!"

I took it anyway...
























Let love abound.

And since I know you are still laughing lets let the hysteria continue. Earlier in the day Branson and Brylee had taken one of Cali's b-day balloons out back and filled it full of water. A waterballoon on steroids if you will. I went out to check on things just in time to find Brylee screaming that she couldnt hold the balloon any longer because she had to go to the bathroom. I protested and told her that because she was all wet and muddy she was going to have to dry off first before going in.

Branson looked at me with a very questioning look in his eyes and said,

"Mom, why don't you just let her pee in the wild?"

One more, one more....

Ella: Mom did you cry when Cali was bornded?
Me: Yes
Ella: Sometimes Mama's just cry to get their babies out?
Me:Uh- Huh
Ella: And the baby is all bloody and so is the Mama.
Ella: I knew that cause I know everything.

Heaven. Help. Us.

Lets see that one again...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Birthday Letter- Cali at 1 Edition




































Dear Cali,

Has it really, really been a whole year? Because it sure doesn't feel like it. I will never forget the way I felt when you were born. One year, 10 years, even a million years will not fade the surging, racing, pounding love that spilled like a tsunami into my heart for you when your tiny, warm body was placed into my arms. Your birth, Sweet Baby Cali, was magical, spiritual and life changing for me. I had finally become wise enough  and smart enough to know exactly how to prepare my heart and soul for the gift of those few precious moments. My spirit was ready and when the time came, I felt completely able to leave this world and all it's cares behind and step across the boundaries of the veil and bring you here. I have never- in all my life felt Heaven so close. And meeting you, was like being reunited with a part of my own soul that had been waiting for more than 3 decades to return to it's place inside my heart.

It was that good my sweet girl. You were that good.

You are the finishing masterpiece of our group, the frame that brings the picture into full beauty. You  make the rest of us whole and you complete our a circle that wasn't quite done before. I am not sure how we ever got along with out you, but I am sure glad that now we don't have to.

Do you know that the other kids fight to sit by you, to hold you, to play with you? At times it feels like there just isn't enough of you to go around! You are a star in our family. Not very many people can say that they live with a perfect soul, a flawless person that never judges, never argues, never has a mean thought or says a mean word...but we can. You belong to all of us and each member of our family claims you as, "their baby".

And it's true you are- but you and I, we have something special, something extra, something divine and eternal. When we are sad...we want each other. And neither one of us is ever lonely because we are always together. You smile when you see me, and I smile when I see you. I like to smell you and feel you and bathe you. I like to hold your two little hands in mine while you take wobbly, new steps. I like to smash your warm cheeks up to mine when I get you out of bed in the morning. I like your gaped little teeth and I like how you wrinkle up your nose when something is funny. I like to rock with you in our chair by the window and I like how your body instinctively leans towards me when someone else holds you. It's like there is a magnet inside me and a magnet inside you and the force is so strong that "wham!" we have to be together.

Cali, I've been a Mom long enough now to know that another year WILL pass. I know that you will keep getting bigger. I know that you will not be a baby forever and I know that pretty soon, your two little hands will let go of mine and you will take a step, then 2, then hundreds. I know that someday you will grow up, fall in love and give your heart to someone else but I know that that day...is not today.

Today you are still ALL mine. The world and it's worries are still far, far away for us- but when they come, will you always remember, that you can lean toward me? Will you forever know that there is a magnet inside of me and a magnet inside of you that will always pull us together? Will you never forget that you and I will never truly be lonely, because we have each other? Will you know that when your heart starts to move on that mine never will? It will always be open enough and big enough and soft enough for you-with all of your sorrows, joys, failures, mistakes, successes and loves? Will you remember that even though you wont be a baby forever you will always be MY BABY?

I hope you will because words can not justly state the extent of my devotion and love for you. You are solace and peace and joy and I love you with all that is in me and more.

Happy Birthday Sweet, Tiny Girl.

I love You.

Mom

Monday, February 6, 2012

Go Away


Yesterday was a grouchy day. Very grouchy. I was, the kids were, and when Scott came home from meetings in the afternoon, we made sure our grouchiness rubbed off all over him too. We tried a walk. But Ella got her foot stuck in the spokes of Scott's bike and that started her in on one long huge fit. We tried watching the super bowl but Kaden was all of a sudden the Patriots number one fan and got all intense and frustrated with the loss. I tried to ignore everyone and locked myself in the room but they pounded on the door. Then I decide that nothing could be done except to end the day.

I called everyone to the couch and ordered them to get out their scriptures. I don't know what happened but the mood changed. A very teary Kaden asked a question which led to a discussion which led to a whole lot of chances for Scott and I to encourage, uplift and adore our kids. Kaden quite literally sobbed through the whole conversation, his weighed down little head resting on my shoulder or tucked under the couch cushion. He is changing and noticing more and more that a world he used to think was all kindness and love, also has a whole lot a bad in it.

He looked at Brylee square in the face and told her that the next time she goes out to play, he was going with her. He was bound to see to it that no one is ever unkind to his sister again.

We never read any scriptures, even though I had my book in my hands. We just talked. The kids talked, we made plans for a solo camping trip, just the 7 of us. We prayed. We hugged. We tucked in. I hugged Kaden's broadening frame and he hugged back, good and tight. Grouchy...was very, very far away.

Now if we can just keep him there.

Friday, February 3, 2012

The Nature of Joy

Anna says that I should write "cleaning" posts. I have really considered it since my "word" is clean. Remember? Not to mention I have a passion for cleaning, scrubbing and organizing. But I cant write it today because I am up early so that I can go to the school and see the twins assembly performance. Big stuff you know. BIG stuff.

This week has been a doozy. It has been plain hard. The details of that hard are just a bit too much to share right now but last night we declared it to be...go find some fun and some treats on a school night, night. And so we did. DQ and the mall play ground delivered- and all three of my big kids can run "the obstacle" course in about 9 seconds. 9 seconds! That is, as long as other small children don't get in their way.

Scott and I sat on the concrete bench timing their races and feeling good that we had for a moment, left the world of stress and homework and bills and decisions behind, to take a break in the world of laughing kids moving happily around a play ground. I could have cried at the relief. It's all that hard you know that makes such a simple thing so very beautiful.

Kaden was busy helping Cali test out all the colorful play things when he looked at me and said, "Mom take a picture!"

I decided that my children are brain washed. They think that my camera is 100% of the time on my person, surgically attached if you will. I had no camera, but believe me when I say, that those chocolate ice-cream stained smiles, were salve for my burn- out soul. Yes, they were.

Ella gave me such a timely needed reminder Wednesday when she came in to me while I hurried myself with laundry and said "Mama watch this!"

Earlier I had fastened her blanket around her neck because she likes to have a flappy cape, flapping about her.  She coaxed me out side with several more,

"Watch this Mama's".

We wound our way around the house until we came to the back door and across the grass (if you can call it that) until we came to the swings. She climbed on up and started those little legs back and forth back and forth and then looked at me like,

"Do you see that, isn't that impressive?"

I knew without her telling me that what I was watching was her homemade, rigged with  rubber band, cape, soaring in the windy pull from the swing. To me it was beautiful. Beautiful because Ella takes the time to relish in that sort of thing. Capes flapping, the way her dolls hair bounces when she jumps on the trampoline and the way a pony's mane swishes in the bath water.

When you find beauty in the everyday movements of life, you can find it in the hard stuff too.

Like Ella. Swinging herselfez is hard you know.

And other stuff is too.

(The tupperwear is our outside set, it is used for mud pies and the like, dont worry about it ok.)
























































"Looking back over a quarter of a century, I feel the same way about raising children as Ammon felt about missionary work when he and his brethren testified of "their journyings in the land of Nephi, their sufferings in the land, their sorrows, and their afflictions and their incomprehensible joy." Their joy was mixed with sorrow and affliction, for that is the very nature of joy."
Marie Hafen

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Spiritual Attractivness


Last Saturday afternoon, Brylee burst through the front door and ran for her room. I followed her to see what was going on. I came through the bedroom door and I could see dirty tears streaking down Brylee's cheeks.

I went over to her and pulled her close to me while she sobbed. Then I asked her what had happened. Through her tears Brylee tried to explain how she had been sitting in the grass with a group of neighborhood girls. They were chatting away and enjoying the gorgeous weather when one of the girls said out loud for everyone else to hear,

"Oh my gosh Brylee, you talk way too much and you talk way too loud!"

Humiliated, stunned and hurt Brylee stood up, got on her bike and came home. My heart was broken. I cried too. I held my sweet girl and told her that the very best thing in the whole world about her is that she has never made someone feel bad. She had never said an unkind word to or about anyone. And that was something unique and amazing. I promised her she was loved and that she had many good friends.

It's been a few days now and I think most of the sting from the insult has faded but I told Brylee that it is somewhat important to remember how bad she felt- as a good reminder to never do the same. Scott picked up the twins and our two little neighbor friends from gymnastics yesterday. Brylee was excited to get in the car and tell her Dad that she had moved up to level 3. Scott said that he could see in the rear view mirror that Brylee's good friend and gymnastics partner was starting to cry. She had not been moved up that day and it hurt. Brylee put both arms right around her friend and encouraged her and comforted her, there in the back seat.

 This morning, I went to www.lds.org to work on my Sunday lesson when I came across this video.

https://www.lds.org/youth/video/deep-beauty?lang=eng

 "Spiritual attractiveness" what an perfect way to describe my Brylee. She is not perfect but she is kind. This video reminded me of her and what she knows, already at just 9,  is most important in life.

She is so beautiful to me in every way. Even though she does have a happy...big....strong... and yes LOUD voice. And she uses it to spread goodness everywhere she goes.

How I love her.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

All by Herselfez

This morning I was in the kitchen when I heard the sound of window blinds being played with. This is not a normal sound on a Wednesday morning because I knew that Ella was in the bath and I knew that Cali cant reach the blinds.

I walked toward the sound and found this....




































She was as pleased as punch about the whole thing and I was stunned. I screamed. And then I yelled,

"How did you do that?!"

Then Ella came running and said,

"All by her-selfez."

She sure did Ella, all by herselfez.

Next week my baby turns one.

I am having chest palpitations.