Friday, February 3, 2012

The Nature of Joy

Anna says that I should write "cleaning" posts. I have really considered it since my "word" is clean. Remember? Not to mention I have a passion for cleaning, scrubbing and organizing. But I cant write it today because I am up early so that I can go to the school and see the twins assembly performance. Big stuff you know. BIG stuff.

This week has been a doozy. It has been plain hard. The details of that hard are just a bit too much to share right now but last night we declared it to be...go find some fun and some treats on a school night, night. And so we did. DQ and the mall play ground delivered- and all three of my big kids can run "the obstacle" course in about 9 seconds. 9 seconds! That is, as long as other small children don't get in their way.

Scott and I sat on the concrete bench timing their races and feeling good that we had for a moment, left the world of stress and homework and bills and decisions behind, to take a break in the world of laughing kids moving happily around a play ground. I could have cried at the relief. It's all that hard you know that makes such a simple thing so very beautiful.

Kaden was busy helping Cali test out all the colorful play things when he looked at me and said, "Mom take a picture!"

I decided that my children are brain washed. They think that my camera is 100% of the time on my person, surgically attached if you will. I had no camera, but believe me when I say, that those chocolate ice-cream stained smiles, were salve for my burn- out soul. Yes, they were.

Ella gave me such a timely needed reminder Wednesday when she came in to me while I hurried myself with laundry and said "Mama watch this!"

Earlier I had fastened her blanket around her neck because she likes to have a flappy cape, flapping about her.  She coaxed me out side with several more,

"Watch this Mama's".

We wound our way around the house until we came to the back door and across the grass (if you can call it that) until we came to the swings. She climbed on up and started those little legs back and forth back and forth and then looked at me like,

"Do you see that, isn't that impressive?"

I knew without her telling me that what I was watching was her homemade, rigged with  rubber band, cape, soaring in the windy pull from the swing. To me it was beautiful. Beautiful because Ella takes the time to relish in that sort of thing. Capes flapping, the way her dolls hair bounces when she jumps on the trampoline and the way a pony's mane swishes in the bath water.

When you find beauty in the everyday movements of life, you can find it in the hard stuff too.

Like Ella. Swinging herselfez is hard you know.

And other stuff is too.

(The tupperwear is our outside set, it is used for mud pies and the like, dont worry about it ok.)

"Looking back over a quarter of a century, I feel the same way about raising children as Ammon felt about missionary work when he and his brethren testified of "their journyings in the land of Nephi, their sufferings in the land, their sorrows, and their afflictions and their incomprehensible joy." Their joy was mixed with sorrow and affliction, for that is the very nature of joy."
Marie Hafen

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