Friday, March 30, 2012
The Supporting Role
A few minutes ago I stood in the dark doorway and said a cheerful, excited good-bye to Scott and Kaden. They are off for a three day trip to Conference. I couldn't be happier for them. I watched their two figures walk up the side walk and get into Scott's truck and as they drove away I wanted to scream,
Wait! Don't leave me here! Take me with you!
Instead I went and sulked in a long hot shower. Do you ever think that your eternal role in life is to support, stay behind, hold up the fort when others leave it and heck...hold up the fort no matter what?
Well mine is,
and I couldn't think of a better place to be. It's not glamorous but it has millions of hidden blessings if you can only let your heart see them. Last night Branson and the neighbor kid rigged a dolly to the back of a bike with a rope, it was dark, a sharp turn was made and Branson's knee skidded across the road. He laid there whimpering and didn't move until I walked down there and scrapped his huge 9 year old body off the road. I liked that. The boy needs me and I was there.
Yesterday when I was in the bathroom, Ella decided to take Cali out to swing. I heard the sure sounds of a hurt baby wafting in from the open back door and I went sprinting for my life. I found Cali flat on her back under the swings gasping to regain her breath. I ran her inside, retrieved her passie and blanky and then we sat in the rocking chair for a long time. I rubbed her back and waited until all the residual crying hiccups had finally settled and when she was as good as new, she squirmed down and toddled off. I liked that. She needed me and I was there.
This morning Kaden held my hand during our prayer and yesterday I laid by Ella and sang her "I know an Old Lady that Swallowed a Fly," like a hundred times. I liked that too.
In a few hours I will pack up and trek off to the school to see Brylee in a little school play. She couldn't sleep last night for all the excitement. I will be the nerd parent that is taking tons of pictures like my daughter is some kind of famous actress at a fancy premiere. And guess what, I will like it because she needs me and I will be there.
I don't mind playing the supporting role. It's not the spot light that's for sure. A lot of times it's the unseen and the unknown force making all the rest look easy. But it's not easy and when I got to the shower this morning, there was a twinge of sad, that I will be home doing laundry while they are enjoying a great vacation. Because I am human and I have a human heart that sometimes feels sorry for it's self. I'm just glad that, that human heart is pounding away with gratitude that it CAN work and serve and do laundry and rock babies and scrape injured boys off the road after a wreck on their contraption.
Cause I like that too.