Wednesday, October 17, 2012

My Beautiful Vistas

My heart has been heavy and achy. I cant seem to get through a day lately with out feeling weepy and sorry for myself. When life comes to one of these unavoidable lows it is best for me to just keep my mouth (and my blog) quiet and look for the light that is most likely just over the next hill.

My short list of complaints and heart aches is so small next to my tower of blessings, but I am certain that Heaven still cares about my sorrows anyway. I never feel that the things that trouble me are an annoyance to my Heaven Father, actually I know that He cares very much and is there to hear me sob my soul out to Him whenever I need to.

Living in someone elses house and constantly feeling "in the way" and displaced is one thing. Desperately missing my old life and ward family and home is another. But what really takes a little discouragement and inconvenience into full blown trial is when all of that is added to working through forgiveness and acceptance. And then all of that is added to laying awake at night worrying about a child that has slipped back into old frustrating habits and then all of that is added to the regular challenge of keeping up with life's demands.

This morning I was sleepless by 4am so at 5, I got up and locked myself in the shower knowing that I had a good 30 minutes that I could disappear from life and be alone. There is no better place to sort out the mess than in the shower. Right?

I was once promised in a blessing that I would be able to retain information and recall it to my mind when it was needed. I can not say how many times that blessing has played out in my life. While I prayed and thanked and asked for help, bits and pieces of something that President Hinckley had said started dripping into my heart. I looked it up as soon as I could get to it.

“Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” 
Gordon B. Hinckley

I thought of all the "beautiful vistas" in my life, there are so many. First and most of all, I know where to turn for help and hope and guidance. I know that I have a Savior that already over came this fallen world and all that it dishes out to us, in Him there is always hope for a softer heart, for a mended soul and for the courage and ability to make it to the next vista or thrilling burst of speed. I am so thankful for Him!

My most recent beautiful vistas....

My Mom's horses paid a visit to the back yard when the sun was just right. I loved that the kids rode bareback and barefoot.

Visiting the museum, panning for gold, digging up dinosaur bones and following it all up with a picnic in the park.

I got to be there when this beautiful family went from temporary to eternal. (Dear Jaren and Alexa, You are both wonderful examples and have over come so much already! Your day at the temple was amazing and I loved being there. I cant wait to watch your family grow and thrive in the gospel. That sweet baby Wyatt is one lucky cowboy. Love you both!)

And to add to my "best day ever" list we spent our last day of October break at my favorite spot on the lake. The kids made mud pies like mud pies could spread world peace, they took rides on the paddle boat, pretended to be ninjas with the long willows and visited with friends in the shallows while the sun set her glow glimmering on the water.


Now if those aren't beautiful vistas, I'm just not sure what is.

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