|Ella-Rockin crazy hair day|
The other day I had a conversation with my sister-in-law Emily. She was telling me about a ring she inherited that she had really really wanted. Then last night Ella came up to me with a little tube of lipstick and said that her friend Hailey had given it to her.
As soon as she said the words she burst into tears like she had just confessed her involvement in a federal crime. I asked her why Hailey had given the lipstick to her and through her tears she said,
"Mom do you remember that ring that Emily's grandma gave her?"
"Remember how she really loved it and wanted it so bad."
"Well that's why Hailey gave me the lipstick"
"So it was Hailey's but you told her that you wanted it so bad so she gave it to you."
"Bahhhhh! Yes!! Whaaaa! I will give it back!"
To tell you the truth I am still confused but I think Ella basically begged and pleaded for the lipstick all the while justifying her right to Hailey's lipstick because Aunt Emily got the ring that she had wanted. The tears gave away evidence that she was feeling guilty and so that leads me to believe that the lipstick was coerced from Hailey more than freely given.
The lipstick is going back.
Poor Ella, she is trying to figure out the rights and wrongs of half day kindergarten all the while dealing with a bout of serious anxiety. Ella is afraid of almost everything these days. She does not sleep alone, does not bathe alone, she wont go to the bathroom alone and will not be anywhere in our entire house unless she can physically see another person. Namely me.
It is wearing me out in everyway. But in my heart I know that the answer is love. So each night she falls asleep wrapped around me assured that I will not leave her side, or move her to a bed by herself. She is under my feet all day worrying herself sick that if she relaxes to play or watch cartoons that I will leave the room before she notices.
The worst part is that she wont let herself go to sleep until she is sure that I wont leave. So she follows me around to the bitter end of the night waiting for me to go to bed. And then as soon as I sneak out of bed in the early morning to have scriptures with the big kids she pops right up and follows me. She is exhausted which causes an extra round of hysterical fits during the day.
One day last week I was in the kitchen cleaning up the after school eating frenzy when I noticed that Ella had fallen asleep standing up with her torso collapsed on the couch. My heart broke for her and so I scooped her up and carried her upstairs. Through heavy eyes and a panicked voice she begged me not to lay her down.
"I'm awake! Don't leave me, I'm awake."
I decided that all the chores and the neighbor friends and the dinner prep could wait and I told Ella to go ahead and sleep and that I would stay right by her. We snuggled together on the couch and took a good afternoon nap.
I relished in that little nap with my gorgeous-mental basket case-in love with a tube of her friends lipstick-amazing beautiful little 5 year old.
Heaven help us!
|I love Ella's "line them up" habit. She does this with all kinds of toys|
|Almost all our dolly's are covered in "art"|
|Some of them have an E|
|And alot of them have marker lipstick applied to their lips|