Thursday, September 25, 2014

Never Again

I don't know if this happens to other people but when Scott and I stumble to our room at the end of the day we are completely wiped out. We are the living dead, the team after over time, the pioneers coming in from the plains.

So SO tired.

That being said, Scott and I have never turned away a child who comes to our bed at night. (Seriously, why have we not turned them away??) Whoever comes to the room is always lifted up and allowed to sleep in the prized middle spot that all kids consider the promise land of childhood. Big kids have slept on the floor with one hand reached up onto the bed-side to meet my hand or their huge bodies have stuffed into the limited feet area at the end of the bed. As of NOW our two little girls sleep in our room on the floor every night. EVERY. I wish to say to all future parents, when that baby arrives you will sleep never again.

So Cali and Ella always spend 20 minutes or so in bed with us, getting backs tickled and stories told and faces kissed. Scott and I are nearly in a comatose state at this point. Mostly dead but still giving the last bit of ourselves to accommodate these bedtime necessities of our two little girls. Even if the story is just a mumble of nonsense that, with great effort, I say with my eyes closed and my brain fried out. We always get a few nice pokes in the face that are intended to keep the story rolling.

The other night I had Cali draped across my middle, her soft adorable face was tucked just under my chin. She seemed satisfied with a back tickle that was just my floppy hand occasionally twitching. Ella was on Scott's side getting her legs tickled up and down each side. I heard Ella say to Scott, "Dad, will you snuggle me now?" Then that big wonderful Daddy, rolled over and enveloped that growing girl in his strong arms. In just minutes I could hear the heavy sleepy breathing of all three of them.

I wished I could see the sight of us there in the dark. As common as this is in my life (as annoying as it can be)  that night felt sacred. Like I was experiencing Heaven. My love for those two girls and their Dad overwhelmed me all at once and I cried into Cali's brown head.

It was a moment I tell you. Good thing for those moments because most nights I cry because I am so blasted tired and I STILL have kids in my bed.

Seriously thank the Heavens above for the MOMENTS. You will sleep never again but you will get some MOMENTS and you will proclaim to all that sleep loss...worth it.


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