Friday, July 17, 2015
About once a week I think about writing. I sometimes scan through old posts and think, "where is that girl who could write every emotion, lesson and life story without effort. Where is she? She could really say in a string of words just what she was feeling." Well I am not sure where she is. I miss her. But now a days writing eludes me. Like an old friend that has moved away. I long to record the stories of life but life itself seems to get in my way, in my brain and in my heart.
A few weeks ago I was in a group of women, sort of part of the conversation but mostly not. One Mom was joking about how lazy she has gotten in parenting and she made the comment "I am done parenting." I thought, parenting is ALL I care about. Dont care about nothin else really only if it relates in someway to the well being and teaching and raising of these 5 little charges.
It is my work. It is my life, my whole heart and soul. I don't love every second of it. A lot of it is down in the trenches, heartrendingly hard but I like to remember that God Himself is a parent and if its what He does then its what I want to do.
I am approaching the completion of my 16th year as a Mother. I love being here. I love the feeling of season and wisdom that I have now and yet I know there is plenty still to learn and experience. I want to write it all down. I had a goal to read the whole Book of Mormon this summer and I am almost finished. What a beautiful record that amazing book is. Written by parents. Parents who wanted their children to know to what source to look. I want to be the kind of parent they were.
So we are still alive and well over here. The kids are growing up. And so am I. I plan to get back to keeping this record. And with "first day" marked on the calendar and approaching quickly I just might have a chance.