Monday, October 19, 2015

The Repairer of the Breach

I was hurt last week. Not physically but my heart was hurt by the actions of someone I admired and looked up to. I spent all of last week fighting my feelings of resentment and bitterness towards this man. My faith in words like, for if ye forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you; But if ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses and But behold I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you...have been put to the test like never before. Do I really believe these teaching from the Savior or am I just saying I do because I have never truly been tested on them? Principals like these are so easy to live until they're NOT. After days of what I really wanted to say to this person played like a broken record over and over in my heart and mind, I was exhausted. Sad. Frustrated. Its so hard to let go of hurt when it really did hurt your life in real ways. My heart was so hard over it that I was even having a hard time opening up my scriptures. Aren't these the same things this person believes and yet he still chose a different way? 
Finally after 6 days of work and prayer I started to feel a small break in the pain of my own resentment. This morning I opened my scriptures and read words like..
to undo the heavy burdens
then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger.
thy darkness shall be as the noonday
And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.
and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.
Beautiful written words can heal my heart like rain on the dry crackled dessert. I love the scriptures. I love them so much. I know I have barely scratched the surface of what they have to offer but even now they teach me and guide me . All of those sweet promises come with conditions and instructions (like take away the putting forth of the finger) but none of it is impossible, I can do the things that preceded those blessings that I so desperately need. And thou shalt be called the repairer of the breach...
I think I'd like that title. I'd like my heavy burdens to be undone, I'd like to call and hear the Lord say, "Here am I", and when I pick up my scriptures and lose myself in its pages I do. I really do.  

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