Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Backed-Up--My Easter Lesson

The Saturday before Easter I dropped off my computer to a technician because it had crashed and was not responding at all. I had 4 years worth of pictures and files and he was going to save them. The chances are very high, he said, that we will be able to save everything.

And so I didn't worry.

Easter Sunday came and it was nice and I did my traditional lesson and testimony sharing with the kids, the music at church was lovely, dinner with family was fun and then it was over and we went to bed. To be honest I was happy to put away all the baskets and candy and move on.

Monday morning I felt ready to face the week. I was happy to get up with the kids and do the long and busy morning routine. The kind of routine that mothers with lots of kids and lots of start times know all about. When the little one was busy coloring and the other 4 were off to school I got started with my Monday cleaning. I had hardly began when my husbands phone rang. His phone was on speaker and he was just down the hall so I could hear what was being said,

"Sorry, but I tried everything I could think of--your data is unrecoverable. I couldn't save it. I cant restore anything on your hard-drive, this all should have been backed-up"

My stomach dropped and my eyes started to sting. How could all of my most important files be gone? I was just looking at it all a few days ago,  I felt a huge loss, I felt devastated, I felt angry at the tech guy for trying and failing and for telling me that my "chances were very high". I called other data recovery businesses, I looked through all my thumb drives, memory cards, my blog, disks and photo albums to see what was lost and what wasn't. I wanted to blame someone for my misfortune. I was hurt.

Everything I lost was playing like a recorded inventory though my mind. I was desperately trying to pull the memories into my brain and somehow save them there since I had no pictures left to remember them.

Ella's baptism
Family Pictures
Vacations to the beach

I felt like I couldn't even go on with my Monday cleaning, all I could do was sit and hurt and cry and feel devastated. But I had to. I have a family. Work had to be done and schedules had to be kept. So I did what I do. I prayed. I asked Heaven to make me stronger under the stress and disappointment I was feeling and to send comfort to my heart.

After I prayed I picked myself up and began working again. The words, I cant save it, unrecoverable, I cant restore anything, stayed with me but I repeated my prayer a few times and my devastation seemed just a little bit less over-powering than it had been.

The long Easter weekend had given my little girls and their cousins ample time to play with every single toy in their room and I knew it was going to take me a while to clean it all up and sort through it, so I pulled out my phone and turned on a conference talk.

Without much thought I quickly chose "Sunday will Come" by Elder Joseph B Wirthlin given in October 2006. I cleaned and listened and prayed. And then when my heart was soft again and ready to learn the Spirit began to teach me.

I have you backed-up--because of Me everything you really love, all you have ever really cared about is saved. Nothing is unrecoverable, I will restore everything that you ever lose. Nothing is truly lost. When you follow Me your chances aren't just "very high" they are sure and binding and eternal.

Gratitude replaced my frustration and sorrow. Pictures and files on a broken computer became less crucial. I was able to remember that I have the real deal. I have a Savior who makes all things whole again. I thought of a sweet Mother in our area who recently lost her 4 year old daughter in an accident. What would she do if she was told that her most precious thing in the world was unrecoverable , unsavable, lost forever? But her little girl isn't lost forever. She will never get a phone call with the news, I tried everything I can think of --but I cant save her.

Nope, instead she and each of us can say, O death where is thy sting? O grave where is thy victory? 
My sweet Cowboy Grandpa, my best friend Grandma who have passed away are saved, your addicted son, your broken marriage, our imperfect souls are recoverable, restored and made whole again.

He has us backed-up. Backed up from death and sin and heartache and weakness. How grateful I am for His perfect life and for His love that brought about salvation. How I love Him for it. We celebrated Easter on Sunday but I FELT Easter on Monday. 

Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come. ~Joseph B. Wirthlin 

Thursday, March 24, 2016


Easter and spring is my favorite time of the year. I love the weather, and the orange blossomy smell in the air and the chance to think a lot about the Savior. I have so many weaknesses and faults. I am so grateful that through His grace and with work and effort I can improve. It gives me such a feeling of hope to know that even though I make mistakes I can repent and become better than I was.

I love teaching this principal to my kids too and Easter is a great excuse to do that more fully.

We had a wonderful, needed Spring Break. It was lovely.

Any time I get to spend with my little flock is such a privileged and I feel that especially now that my time until my big kids are "adults" is short. Ella said the sweetest simplest prayer this morning that I loved. She just added in at the end to "please help us remember Jesus and that He was resurrected".

He really was. I have been thinking about two little phrases from the scriptures.

Why seekest thou the living among the dead? He is not here, He is risen. So beautifully spoken, probably my favorite phrase of all scripture. He lives and He is the way to get through this difficult, trying, painful but beautiful life.

The other phrase is "And Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." I am learning what it means to "keep things" and this scripture has meant a lot to me lately.

I love the Savior and I want to be more like Him each day.

Friday, March 4, 2016


This post is sponsored by Dr. Seuss week and the fact that I survived a whole week of  hat day/sock day/hair day/mustache day/stripes day. 

We've got a climber people.

I don't even try and stop her, what is the point?  And besides that she isn't afraid so why should I be? I think the world is a little too full of parents saying, "don't do that!" or "that's dangerous!" Of course we have to teach them to be safe but hopefully not at the expense of their courage and tenacity and sense of adventure.

I'd much rather say, " wow you worked hard to get up there, way to go!" And then she decides to climb something else and go higher and higher.


You are off to great places! Today is YOUR day. Your mountain is waiting so get on your way! Dr. Seuss 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Heart Burn

Branson is always pulling at my heart strings. A lot of the time in a PAINFUL way that Boy. Yesterday he and his friend snuck upstairs and jumped out of Brylee's window into the pool. I wanted to ring his neck when Cali followed behind him and wanted to climb out the window as well. In December Scott and I left for a date. Branson waited until we were gone, dug out the Christmas lights and climbed on the highest point of the roof to string them up. He had everything cleaned up and done when we got back. And this is just who he is. He has full confidence that HE CAN DO IT. What ever the IT is and he goes for it. It gives me heart burn. He doesn't sit around playing video games, he doesn't rot in front of the TV, he goes and goes and takes risks and disobeys and explodes dry ice bombs and makes me tired. And then he prepares his Sunday lesson with out a scrap of help and his leaders tell me how amazing it was and he is my hardest worker and he goes to the temple at 5 am every week and he is almost done with his Eagle scout and he gives me the best feet rubs EVERY DAY! Heart Burn I tell you, in all the different ways that a Mothers heart can burn.

He has been playing a ton of football and loves it so much. Since quitting gymnastics about one year ago he has grown probably 4 inches and become obsessed with football.

Its been fun to watch him get better and better.  Oh how I love my hard, painful, burn my heart everyday, good as gold Bransy Boy.