Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Backed-Up--My Easter Lesson
The Saturday before Easter I dropped off my computer to a technician because it had crashed and was not responding at all. I had 4 years worth of pictures and files and he was going to save them. The chances are very high, he said, that we will be able to save everything.
And so I didn't worry.
Easter Sunday came and it was nice and I did my traditional lesson and testimony sharing with the kids, the music at church was lovely, dinner with family was fun and then it was over and we went to bed. To be honest I was happy to put away all the baskets and candy and move on.
Monday morning I felt ready to face the week. I was happy to get up with the kids and do the long and busy morning routine. The kind of routine that mothers with lots of kids and lots of start times know all about. When the little one was busy coloring and the other 4 were off to school I got started with my Monday cleaning. I had hardly began when my husbands phone rang. His phone was on speaker and he was just down the hall so I could hear what was being said,
"Sorry, but I tried everything I could think of--your data is unrecoverable. I couldn't save it. I cant restore anything on your hard-drive, this all should have been backed-up"
My stomach dropped and my eyes started to sting. How could all of my most important files be gone? I was just looking at it all a few days ago, I felt a huge loss, I felt devastated, I felt angry at the tech guy for trying and failing and for telling me that my "chances were very high". I called other data recovery businesses, I looked through all my thumb drives, memory cards, my blog, disks and photo albums to see what was lost and what wasn't. I wanted to blame someone for my misfortune. I was hurt.
Everything I lost was playing like a recorded inventory though my mind. I was desperately trying to pull the memories into my brain and somehow save them there since I had no pictures left to remember them.
Vacations to the beach
I felt like I couldn't even go on with my Monday cleaning, all I could do was sit and hurt and cry and feel devastated. But I had to. I have a family. Work had to be done and schedules had to be kept. So I did what I do. I prayed. I asked Heaven to make me stronger under the stress and disappointment I was feeling and to send comfort to my heart.
After I prayed I picked myself up and began working again. The words, I cant save it, unrecoverable, I cant restore anything, stayed with me but I repeated my prayer a few times and my devastation seemed just a little bit less over-powering than it had been.
The long Easter weekend had given my little girls and their cousins ample time to play with every single toy in their room and I knew it was going to take me a while to clean it all up and sort through it, so I pulled out my phone and turned on a conference talk.
Without much thought I quickly chose "Sunday will Come" by Elder Joseph B Wirthlin given in October 2006. I cleaned and listened and prayed. And then when my heart was soft again and ready to learn the Spirit began to teach me.
I have you backed-up--because of Me everything you really love, all you have ever really cared about is saved. Nothing is unrecoverable, I will restore everything that you ever lose. Nothing is truly lost. When you follow Me your chances aren't just "very high" they are sure and binding and eternal.
Gratitude replaced my frustration and sorrow. Pictures and files on a broken computer became less crucial. I was able to remember that I have the real deal. I have a Savior who makes all things whole again. I thought of a sweet Mother in our area who recently lost her 4 year old daughter in an accident. What would she do if she was told that her most precious thing in the world was unrecoverable , unsavable, lost forever? But her little girl isn't lost forever. She will never get a phone call with the news, I tried everything I can think of --but I cant save her.
Nope, instead she and each of us can say, O death where is thy sting? O grave where is thy victory?
My sweet Cowboy Grandpa, my best friend Grandma who have passed away are saved, your addicted son, your broken marriage, our imperfect souls are recoverable, restored and made whole again.
He has us backed-up. Backed up from death and sin and heartache and weakness. How grateful I am for His perfect life and for His love that brought about salvation. How I love Him for it. We celebrated Easter on Sunday but I FELT Easter on Monday.